Lying infuriates adults. The funny thing is, though, that it is the adults that often set the child up. It goes like this: Greg's mother just found out that Greg was throwing rocks at somebody: "Hi Greg, what have you been doing today?" [Why would I tell you if you don't know for sure?] "What do you mean? I haven't been doing anything", he replies looking innocent but confused. Were you throwing stones at the new girl?" [Maybe there's still hope I can pull this off.] "No", he answers incredulous that you would even suspect him. "Well Mavis says you did." "Well it wasn't me, it was some other kid." [Surely she will believe her son before a neighbour!] "She is convinced she saw you doing it." "She's wrong! It wasn't me!" During the first exchange, Mum is tempting Greg to lie, and when he does she has him cornered. Now it's showdown time. Does she have total confidence in Mavis? Now Mum is having some doubts and doesn't quite know how to proceed. Greg is being insistent, so maybe it was another kid. If she chooses to believe him, she'll have to apologize for not believing him in the beginning. If she doesn't believe him, she will have two strikes against him; lying and throwing rocks. Most children will lie to get out of trouble. Your job is to encourage them to tell the truth, not tempt them to lie more. That means that there must be some definite benefit for confessing, rather than trying to wriggle out of it. First you need to lay some foundations of truth and honesty in your home. Make sure that you, yourself, don't lie. Get into the habit of noticing and rewarding honesty and truthfulness. Talk about the value of honesty, and a good reputation. Demonstrate that honesty is a Good Thing, and that it gets rewarded. The next time you suspect your child of something, remain calm. If you know for sure that he is guilty, don't tempt him to lie by asking him if he did it. Give him the details that you know and punish him. Here is a way to have them tell the truth more easily: "Greg, Mavis informed me of something she witnessed this afternoon. I would like to have you tell me what went on. Go to your room and think about it for 15 minutes. While you're thinking, keep in mind how much we value honesty in our home." Greg now has time to calm down and decide whether to dig himself in deeper, or to cut his losses and come clean. If he confesses, praise his honesty. If, after this, he still lies, then it is double the punishment, once for lying and once for the "crime". When things quiet down, sit down with Greg and talk about what feelings may have led up to the incident. Maybe he was angry, envious, or insecure. Tell him that those feelings are natural and okay to feel, but that still doesn't excuse behaving badly. Be patient with him. He won't be willing to talk with you until he knows that you aren't' going to get excited and yell at him.
Article Source: http://www.articlecontentprovider.com/articlesubmit
Lying infuriates adults. The funny thing is, though, that it is the adults that often set the child up. It goes like this:
Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems and also writes regularly for Yes Parenting website. Feel free to grab a unique version of this article from the parenting Articles Submissions Service
Please Rate this Article
5 out of 5 4 out of 5 3 out of 5 2 out of 5 1 out of 5
