There are many schools of thought out there and many different behavior modification techniques that have been developed but which one is right? The answer is that no one technique is the correct one. What works for some parents and children may do nothing for the next. I don't think there is any one cure-all for modifying the behavior of every child, however, rest assured that there is a method that will work for you. Which one that is will have to be up to you. I have tried many different methods of modifying the behavior of my child and they have all worked....sort of! I think that the reason for this is that either the parents get tired of enforcing the same method over and over again and become unconcerned or the child learns new ways to circumvent the rules you are trying to enforce. As an example, here a few of the things I have tried and their results. Time Out: The time out actually seems to work pretty well for one behavior but does not seem to be a catch-all technique. We use the 1 minute per year of age rule to determine how long our child stays in a time out. The idea is to remove the child from socializing for about 4 to 5 minutes and then he is done. The problem here is that while my child learns to correct one behavior, he switches to another unacceptable behavior. Frustrating. Counting: We have tried the counting method in conjunction with various punishments. If we get to 3 and the behavior does not stop, we will most often use the time out. We will, however, sometimes use one of the forms of punishment listed here in place of the time out. Again, my child hates being counted and although it stops one behavior, he will start up with another. After a while, the original behavior will begin to manifest itself again, causing us to start all over. Still agonizing! Positive Reinforcement: Good job hugs or high fives are given out freely when my children do something good. The only problem is that it only stops the behavior temporarily. Rewards: We have used all manner of rewards for good behavior. One of the most frequent is to let our child do something that we normally don't do. Perhaps it is pizza or going to the park or pool. Sometimes, we don't tell them up front so that they don't throw a fit when they don't get to go. When good behavior is observed, we will often do a good job hug and say we are going to the park. Another form of reward is a star chart with a goal. While potty training, we had a star chart hanging on the wall and every time one of the kids would use the toilet, they would get to put a star on the chart. If they get a certain number of stars, we would make good on a goal that we agreed on, again, something like going to the pool or to see grandma (who spoils them, of course!) Purchasing Guides: We have purchased three systems or guides and all of them have had great advice and techniques. But again, not all of these techniques seem to work for EVERY child. Once again, we found ourselves using combinations of things. One of the greatest programs that helped us the most taught us about the cause of our children's poor behavior. These behaviors are due to stress whether it is from an inability to communicate their needs effectively or perhaps they are hungry, thirsty, tired or any number of things that every parent knows to look for. What I mistakenly thought was that by addressing the needs of my child, I was getting to the root of the problem. Although that is true, the true root lies in the fact that stress causes a chemical to be released in the child's body. This chemical is called Cortisol and is produced by the adrenal gland. It causes the "Fight or Flight" instinct that every human being has and can be controlled and reduced in the child by non-disciplinary means. For us as parents, trial and error seems to be the teacher of choice. We find what works and go for it. The problem is that sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to get it right and sometimes it seems there is nothing that will work until the child grows out of it. I hope that you found this article interesting. Good luck to all parents out there and remember, keep the faith! This too shall pass. Author: T. L. Curtis, www.affiliatesorcery.com
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Being a parent is an unique and rewarding experience but is often laced with frustration and anger. This is particularly true when you are in the process of raising a small child who is sassy, abusive, moody and just plain mean! I am the parent of 4 year old twins and I can tell you that the back talk, disobediance and trouble making that goes on is a greivance that I live with on a daily basis. We have tried many methods of discipline to modify our children's behavior. Keep reading to see how ...
Being a parent is an unique and rewarding experience but is often laced with frustration and anger. This is especially true when you are in the process of raising a small child who is aggressive, abusive, temperamental and just plain mean! I am the parent of 4 year old twins and I can tell you that the back talk, defiance and trouble making that goes on is a frustration that I live with on a daily basis. But how does a parent deal with a child with these kinds of issues? There are many schools of thought out there and many different behavior modification techniques that have been developed but which one is right? The answer is that no one method is the right one. What works for some parents and children may do nothing for the next. I don't think there is any one cure-all for modifying the behavior of every child, however, rest assured that there is a method that will work for you. Which one that is will have to be up to you. I have tried many different methods of reigning in my child's behavior and most of them actually worked.....temporarily! I think that the reason for this is that either the parents get tired of enforcing the same method over and over again and become complacent or the child learns new ways to circumvent the rules you are trying to enforce. As an example, here a few of the methods I have tried and their results. Time Out: The time out actually seems to work pretty well for one behavior but does not seem to be a catch-all technique. We use the 1 minute per year of age rule to determine how long our child stays in a time out. The idea is to remove the child from socializing for about 4 to 5 minutes and then he is done. The problem here is that while my child learns to correct one behavior, he switches to another unacceptable behavior. Frustrating. Counting: We have tried the counting method in conjunction with various punishments. If we get to 3 and the behavior does not stop, we will most often use the time out. We will, however, occasionally use one of the forms of punishment listed here in place of the time out. Again, my child hates being counted and although it stops one behavior, he will start up with another. After a while, the original behavior will begin to manifest itself again, causing us to start all over. Again, frustrating! Positive Reinforcement: When my son or daughter does something good or right, especially after being punished for it previously, we will do high-fives, or "Good Job" hugs. I know these children love that affection but the behavior seems to come back anyway! Rewards: We have used various rewards for good behavior. One of the most common is to let our child do something that we normally don't do. For example, we might tell them that if they are good, we will go get pizza or the swimming pool. I think the problem here is actually telling them in advance. When good behavior is observed, we will often do a good job and say we are going to the park. Another form of reward is a star chart with a goal. While potty training, we had a star chart hanging on the wall and every time one of the kids would use the toilet, they would get to put a star on the chart. If they get a certain number of stars, we would make good on a goal that we agreed on, again, something like going to the pool or to see grandma (who spoils them, of course!) Purchasing Guides: We have purchased three systems or guides and all of them have had great advice and techniques. But again, not all of these techniques seem to work for EVERY child. Once again, we found ourselves using combinations of things. One of the best programs that helped us the most taught us about the cause of our children's poor behavior. These behaviors are due to stress whether it is from an inability to communicate their needs effectively or perhaps they are hungry, thirsty, tired or any number of things that every parent knows to look for. What I mistakenly thought was that by addressing the needs of my child, I was getting to the root of the problem. Although that is true, the true root lies in the fact that stress causes a chemical to be released in the child's body. This chemical is called Cortisol and is produced by the adrenal gland. It causes the "Fight or Flight" instinct that every human being has and can be controlled and reduced in the child by non-disciplinary means. For us as parents, trial and error seems to be the teacher of choice. We find what works and go for it. The problem is that sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to get it right and sometimes it seems there is nothing that will work until the child grows out of it. I hope that you found this article interesting. Good luck to all parents out there and remember, keep the faith! This too shall pass. Author: T. L. Curtis, www.affiliatesorcery.com
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