You know, to hear people talk about the difficulties of the dating process, you would think it is impossible for two people to come together in a mutually beneficial relationship... How many people do YOU know who have said that they have "given up" on finding their "soul mate" or another person to call their "special someone"? But, what are they really saying when they say that they have "given up" on finding someone to call their own? They are actually trying to say that they want someone, but they have never had a relationship go the way they had hoped for it to go, and they don't know how to fix the problems that have caused them to struggle in previous relationships. If I am actually talking about you, I know you don't want to hear what I am getting ready to say, but in order for you to find a solution to the problems that have plagued your relationships in the past, you must first understand exactly "why" things have never gone right before now. There are actually three factors that destroy most relationships, and those are the things I will be discussing in this article. Those three all-important factors in the dating relationship are: 1. Communication; 2. Empathy; and 3. Commitment. Now understand, you may possess all three of these things or none of them. But in order for a relationship to work, both parties in the relationship must possess all three qualities. Some of your relationships might have failed because your partner lacked one or all three of these key ingrediants for a successful relationship. Other relationships may have failed because you lacked one or all three of these important traits. More often, neither party is truly to blame, but rather both of you have held a small role in the disintigration of the relationship. I know that is tough to accept. And I know it may not be something that you want to hear. But please accept what I am telling you at face value. To know the truth of your soul, you must look deep inside yourself for the answers to the questions of your life. I know it is easy for you to say, "He was a jerk!! And he did this, that and another thing." And maybe it is okay to tell your friends those stories, if it makes you feel better about yourself. But when you are at home alone, wondering about how your life has managed the path that it has, you are left only with yourself. Tell us what you want us to hear. But listen deep inside your soul for the truth that will "set you free". As they say about alcoholics, the first step towards recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Relationships are much the same way. So long as you are committed to living in denial, you will never find the relationship success you seek, because you will continually deny those things that are killing your relationships. Denial simply gives you an excuse to keep doing those things that destroy your relationships, without encouraging yourself to make the changes you need to make to erase those problem traits within your own behavior. It is like they say about any story, "He said, she said, and the truth is somewhere in the middle." "The truth is somewhere in the middle," is a common phrase, because it is human nature to always try to put the best-face on your own behavior in any situation. Right or wrong, and who to blame is not a decision for "me" to make. I am not looking to place blame on you or your previous partner. All I am saying is that you can lie to me, and you can lie to your friends, but when you are in your room alone, you cannot lie to yourself. To strengthen your future relationships, you must be willing to openly communicate with your lover or spouse. You must share empathy for the person you are with. In other words, you must care more about "how they feel" than what you want to get out of a situation. And you must commit yourself to working through any problems that might come your way. Step up to the plate and take responsibility for your own behavior, and then see to it that your "significant other" is willing to take responsibility for their own actions and accept that communication, empathy and commitment is required for any relationship to succeed.
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You know, to hear people talk about the difficulties of the dating process, you would think it is impossible for two people to come together in a mutually beneficial relationship... But the problems of any relationship can be narrowed down to three very important and relevant words...
Clarence Lee is the owner of http://www.datinglegend.com/ a dating site committed to bringing together adults for casual dating in the United Kingdom.
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